Key Takeaways
- Alzheimer’s disease affects memory, reasoning, emotional regulation, and perception. Saying “I want to go home” is often about seeking comfort or familiarity, not a literal request to return to a specific place.
- Validating emotions, rather than correcting or arguing, helps reduce distress and supports emotional safety.
- Redirecting attention to calming activities like reminiscing or walking can gently shift focus away from anxiety.
- A calm environment with soft lighting, reduced noise, and familiar items can help ease agitation.
- Simple, consistent gestures, like offering a warm drink, listening to music, or folding laundry, can emotionally comfort someone living with Alzheimer’s.
How to Help a Loved One Feel Secure
When someone with Alzheimer’s says, “I want to go home,” it’s not always about a place. It’s often about comfort and familiarity. However, that can make it difficult for caregivers looking to support their loved one and help them feel safe. So, how can you help your loved one feel secure and comfortable in memory care?
This phrase is a common expression of confusion, fear, or longing for comfort. So, it’s important to respond with empathy and understanding. Responding with patience can help soothe your loved one and address the real emotion they are trying to communicate, even if they can no longer find the right words.
How Alzheimer’s Disease Affects the Brain
Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive condition that damages the brain over time. Certain proteins build up in the brain, and they damage how brain cells communicate with one another. Eventually, this changes a person’s memory, thinking, behavior, and more.
As the disease progresses, it also impacts reasoning, attention span, emotional control, and even sensory perception. In later stages, the brain struggles to place people, environments, or even time periods in their proper context. That’s why emotional outbursts or repetitive statements—like “I want to go home”—can appear even in a safe, supportive setting.
Common Symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease
The symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease worsen over time. In the middle stages, you may notice more pronounced changes.
However, some of the most common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease include:
- Memory loss and confusion
- Difficulty with communication and language
- Emotional changes, such as anxiety or agitation
- Repetitive behaviors and questions
- Changes in sleep patterns or energy levels
- Increased need for supervision or reminders
- Difficulty recognizing familiar people or surroundings
These symptoms tend to gradually change and become more prominent over time.
Why This Phrase Is Common in Alzheimer’s Patients
As Alzheimer’s symptoms progress, your loved one may start to lose track of time and place. This can lead to disorientation and a longing for a place that feels familiar. Saying “I want to go home” is often less about a house and more about what home represents: comfort, safety, identity.
It might refer to a childhood home, a time when they still felt independent, or even just a different phase of life. It’s also possible that “home” is being used as a placeholder for feeling safe again. When someone with dementia is overwhelmed or confused, they might reach for something familiar, even if they can’t describe it to others.
Compassionate Response Strategies to “I Want To Go Home”
When your loved one with Alzheimer’s disease says they want to go home, there’s no one-size-fits-all response. Instead, these different approaches can help you meet their emotional needs in the moment.
Validate Their Feelings
The first and most important step is to acknowledge their emotions without correcting them. Arguing or trying to reason with them can increase their distress and agitation.
Instead, try saying, “I understand you’re feeling unsettled right now,” or “That sounds really upsetting.” These simple phrases offer support without correcting or arguing. Validation tells them that their feelings are real and that you’re there for them.
Redirect Their Attention
After validating their feelings, gently redirect their attention to a pleasant activity. Distraction can be a powerful tool for shifting focus away from a distressing thought. The goal is to move their attention to something enjoyable and engaging in the present moment.
Invite them to go for a short walk, look through a photo album, or have a snack. You might even try reminiscing about something positive from the past. These small shifts in focus can often reduce stress without creating resistance.
Create a Calming Environment
Sometimes, sensory triggers can make cognitive challenges feel worse. If your loved one seems distressed, look around the room. Adjust lighting, lower background noise, and offer comforting items like a soft blanket or familiar object. A calm space can help them feel more grounded, even if the situation itself doesn’t change.
Use Reassuring Language
Your words and tone of voice can provide immense comfort. Speak calmly and use simple, reassuring phrases to help them feel safe. Your presence and gentle demeanor can be more powerful than any logical explanation. Holding their hand or offering a gentle touch—if it’s welcomed—can also reinforce this sense of security.
How to Emotionally Comfort Someone About Alzheimer’s Disease
During a visit with a loved one with Alzheimer’s, try working in calming activities to help your loved one feel soothed and comforted. A calm and gentle demeanor goes a long way, especially if your loved one is confused or upset. Trust isn’t built immediately—it’s created through small, consistent habits. Maintain eye contact, speak slowly, and use their name when you talk.
Some excellent ideas to emotionally comfort a loved one include:
- Listening to music from their younger years that they enjoy
- Looking through old family photo albums and talking about happy memories
- Taking a slow, short walk together in a quiet and familiar area
- Offering a favorite warm drink, like tea or hot cocoa
- Engaging in a simple, tactile hobby like folding laundry or sorting items
- Reading a favorite book or poem aloud to them
These small moments of connection reinforce your bond and provide the reassurance they need. It’s about being present with them, offering support in a way that feels safe and loving. You’re helping them feel safer and more supported in a world that may not always make sense to them.
Learn Our Compassionate Care for Older Adults with Alzheimer’s Disease
Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease can come with emotional ups and downs, especially when phrases like “I want to go home” arise. With the right tools, though, you can help your loved one feel seen and supported. Even small changes in your responses can make a meaningful difference in how they feel each day.
Here at Merryvale Assisted Living, we know how to support residents living with conditions like Alzheimer’s disease. Our team is dedicated to creating a nurturing environment where residents feel understood and secure. Your loved one deserves a place that feels just like home, and we’re ready to help.
Schedule a tour with us today to learn more!
